failure

woke up to an anticipating morning,
with a message that i read with a smile,
and that gave me hopes and excitement;
for the day.

happily.
time past.
it's getting nearer.
getting ready, and prepared.

darn.
it's evening already.
and there's still no signs or messages.

i'm such a failure.
i'm of no significance.
im of no importance.
just who am i.
just what am i.

nothing.

hopes are dashed.
excitement died down.
anger brews up.
upsetness came along.
disappointment showed its true colours,
grinning at its success.

i flopped.

took a walk.
thinking i'd be better.
nope.
not really.

i realised chinese garden is really very big.
its so big that i couldnt even walk finish,
and its getting dark,
and i'm afraid to walk alone any longer.

ran to the brightly-lit area.
nope. no quiet places.
back at the pavilion which i was there on wednesday.
quietly, i sat there,
with my mp3 blasting my ears.
emotions overwhelmed me.
i need someone to be there by my side.

thanks dawn.
thanks for comforting me.
thanks for telling me things that soothe my sorrows.
thanks for showing me hopes again.

tried to regain contact with the cause of disappointment.
nope.
no reply.
no response.

so, i guess i noe how much i mean.